This Comes As No Surprise

What? You actually thought for a second that I was done? That crazy things stopped happening?

HA!

No way.

And yesterday was the perfect example of "a day in the life."

What IS interesting, is that what happened yesterday really didn't shock me. Nothing around here really does, anymore. I am starting to accept that there is just something a little, well, "different" about our life. MY life.

It started early yesterday morning, as I was getting the two little ones ready for a fishing trip with their "Bup." Over the bickering about matching socks, the dog barking at the dancing reflection on the wall from the swimming pool water, the phone ringing and the passing traffic, I heard the crying.

Like many moms, I believe I have bionic hearing. I hear the slightest sniffle in the middle of the night. I wake from a sound sleep the second my kids feet hit the floor early in the morning, no matter how quiet they are. I.hear.everything.

But this sound was loud, and constant, and sad.

This sound was coming from an animal that sounded like hurt and fear and everything bad.

I walked outside to try to figure out where it was coming from. In my pajamas and mismatched flip flops, I walked down to the road.

I live on a very busy road, and the traffic is loud and fast. Especially on weekday mornings. But I had to try to see what was making this horrible noise. I'm no stranger to rescuing wildlife...well, small wildlife, that is. And I KNOW that I often act without REALLY thinking about what I'm doing. I wasn't planning on saving any screaming forest creatures in my jammies, but I would do what I had to do and suffer the consequences.

I crossed the road and paced alongside the trees and the brush, trying to see the source of this crying.

You see, the view from my front window is "The Forest." If you look directly across the road it looks like the fricken willy-wacks. I never thought about how strange that is until yesterday.

I peered into the trees and the "puckah-brush."

I could hear it, but I could not for the life of me see it.

Passers-by must have concluded that I was some poor, crazy woman who had lost her way. In her pjs and flip flops, talking to herself, walking along a busy road early in the morning.

Who cares.

I was on a mission.

My dad came to pick up the kids and I asked him for help. He heard the noise, too. It really was alarming.

We both walked across the road and searched into the woods.

Was it in a tree? Was it a fox "mimicking" a cat?

A bird?

A plane?

He determined there was really nothing we could do.

He took the kids fishing.

I was not giving up.

I turned to my peeps on FACEBOOK. They NEVER fail to advise.

For it was FACEBOOK that gave me answers when a CHUKAR PARTRIDGE graced my backyard.

It was FACEBOOK when my beloved Casey passed away, that offered endless love and support. Look at FB how you want, but it really does bail you out in a pinch.

I told my little story about the noise across the road, and sure enough, the advice board lit up:

A Fox. Get inside. A fawn. Call the Police. Call the Wildlife Preserve. A porcupine? A beagle?

As much as I hated to call the police for a non-emergency, I had to start somewhere.

Apparently we have an animal control officer, but he deals with domestic animals, not wildlife, and at this point I was fairly certain this had to be wild.

My poor husband called.

This man had no idea that when he married me, he was marrying koo-koo.

Last week he got a text from me, "Bear in the Backyard."

Oh, did I forget to mention that a black bear showed up one morning a couple of weeks ago? OOps. Sorry.

Yes. A bear in the backyard while I was cleaning the pool.

No biggie.

Anyway, I was telling Chris about the noise, how LOUD it was, and I was feeling helpless.

He said he would call his friend who is a game warden.

A few minutes later, he called back.

"Are you dressed?"

"Nope."

"Well, you probably should get dressed because one of the wardens from "NorthWoods Law" is coming to the house."

"Shut up."

"I'm serious."

My husband, the jokester.

While I DID believe that someone from the Warden Service was coming, I DID NOT believe it was someone from a TV show.

I threw on my favorite old grey sweatshirt.

I found a matching flip flop.

I returned to my post on the side of the road.

That sound. It was so loud. I was relieved that it was still happening when the guy showed up. It would have been like going to the doctors for a pain in the ass, but when you get to your appointment the pain is gone...

When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a game warden's truck...and Kris MacCabe from NorthWoods Law.

Mother.

Are you kidding me?

Did I brush my teeth?

Not yet.

Shit.

Oh, well, such is my life of a wild-life rescuer.

For a second...I mean a SECOND I forgot about the struggling creature so desperately in need of help.

For one split minute, I tried to remember if I had a bra on or not.

Phew.

Ok. Back to business.

We both walked to the side of the road.

The noise seemed even louder.

"That's weird." He stated.

"Thank Goodness you think so."

He started down the brush covered bank.

"Will you come down and save me if I yell?" He joked.

"I'll have to go change my shoes."

("I'll have to go change my shoes?" THAT'S ALL I COULD COME UP WITH? I felt like Baby on Dirty Dancing when she said, "I carried the watermelon.")

I could still see him as he made his way into the woods.

In less than a minute, I heard him exclaim, "NO WAY!"

What the heck was it? Would he carry a fawn out? Was it a baby bear cub?

"It's a tiny kitten!"

And he emerged from the brush and sticks and rocks with the tiniest, cutest grey kitten.

THAT was making that noise?

We were both surprised.

REALLY surprised.

Of course then the troops came running out of the house to see the result of my frantic search.

A cat.

Now, let's get back to FACEBOOK for a minute. A few weeks ago, I put a status on that declared my dislike for cats. It was meant to be a private joke, but I quickly realized that it just came across as looking bitchy, and many of my friends and family are cat lovers.

I have never "loved" cats. I don't mind them. I love dogs. I don't love orange juice, either, but I would drink it if I was dying of thirst, you know?

So, back to the kitten.

He handed me the tiny thing and i have to admit. I felt an instant connection. I was the only one who heard this mini-lion. Do you think that he was in that spot, in front of Crazy Road, for a reason?

I do.

I needed a little lesson.

He needed my bionic ears, and everything that comes with them.

After chatting with the TV STAR, and having a few pictures with the kids and the cat and the cool Game Warden Truck, the excitement died down.

I needed to get back to work, AND figure out what to do with this tiny creature who had been through a horrific ordeal.

I wanted to keep him.

I couldn't keep him.

I could have brought him to a shelter.

I could NOT bring him to a shelter.

He happily drank some milk and ate some mushed up tuna.(Thank Goodness for Tom and Jerry, I had no idea what to feed a kitten)!

He fell asleep on Nick.

We fell in love.

Leo, our enormous Golden Retriever kind of liked him, too.

But with allergies and working and living next to the busy road, our busy lives and such, Crazy Road was not the best place for him.

I have a new friend that offered a home right away, and after working out a time and place, and promises of a long, love filled cat life, she became the owner of my rescu-ee.

He pooped on the backseat of my car on the way to deliver him, but I didn't even care.

Poop, shmoop.

He is going to have a great life with cat-lovers.

I was pretty drained last night, and admittedly, I missed the darned little thing.

But I knew I had done the right thing.

Today I am going to try to bury my head in the sand, and avoid any crazy what-so-ever.

Oh, who am I kidding.

I will again encounter some kind of mischief.

And it will come as no surprise.


Thanks for reading.

funny.crazy.love.